UPA government bans sex to promote ‘hand’ – the election symbol of congress

UPA government has banned sex to promote hand – the election symbol of congress. In a dramatic move after Amar Chand Babaria requested Election Commission to cover lotus flowers as voters might get influenced towards BJP. UPA government has decided to make everyone use their hand and pay respect to congress’ election symbol.

'Apna Haath Jagannath' said UPA leadership announcing ban on sex to promote hand

‘Apna Haath Jagannath’ said UPA leadership announcing ban on sex to promote hand while addressing a crowd in Madhya Pradesh

This strange initiative was taken up by UPA government after Amar Chand, congress corporator from Madhya Pradesh demanded that election commission should cover all lotus flowers as it promotes BJP’s election symbol. This innovative suggestion lead the UPA government to ban sex in all congress ruled states so that young voters concentrate their attention to congress’ election symbol – hand.

Although, congress spokesperson Shakeel Ahmad has clarified that this ban is to control increasing population in India. “This ban merely adds more meaning to Rajiv Gandhi’s policy which coined the term hum do humare do. After Rajiv Gandhi, now we are ready to work under Rahul Gandhi’s leadership who already has embraced hands and decided not to marry. Use of hands can even bring down the number of increasing rapes in NCR. It’s a win-win situation for everyone. This development was very much in progress after Sonia Gandhi observed population of China in the video captured via our robot Manmohan Singh that was sent there for software upgrade.”

“Sex is a state of mind.” – said Rahul Gandhi, vice president of congress party while addressing media. “Hand is a much better alternative to shape your mind. Youth needs to connect with hand. Hand must be in your shirts and pants.” He also made a reference to Do Aankhen Barah Haath movie, which we are yet to analyze and understand.

“Even BJP leaders such as Modi and A B Vajpayee have been respecting hand and indirectly showing their inclination towards congress.” – smirked Digvijay Singh while giving a big hi-five on Kapil Sibal’s right hand and added – “Khoob jamega rang jab mil bethenge teen yaar. Main aur mere do haath !

“We are not ignoring those who are handicaps.” announced Ghulam Nabi Azad, UPA government’s health minister. “We will provide them artificial hand and also show how to pay their respect to congress using that hand. Earlier I had asked people to watch television instead producing children. All I say now is respect hands while you watch television. We can even organize competition of using hands and award the winners with appropriate title.”

Meanwhile, representatives of porn industry have approached home minister Shinde offering their help in whole initiative. “Nobody respects hands better than us ! By legalizing our work, you can make even more people pay respect with hands.”

  • Another pappu

    did rahul gandhi actually go to school? i thought he is an literate !

  • Monnika Bisht

    Is CBI already doing a crime investigation on Doon School? Is the principal of Doon school under scanner? Is NCERT banning Doon School from using its course curriculam? Are they (the congress sarkar) forefeiting Doon School campus and relocating it from Dehradoon to Jhumri Talaiya????

    • Pappu Gandhi

      Those are too many questions at the same time. You might confuse Rahul Gandhi or you will have to wait for another five years to get your answers !

    • namo4pm

      I highly doubt if rahul gandhi secured admission in doon school based on merit. Good that my son didn’t get admission there, else he’ll also become a pappu like rahul gandhi.