Google autocomplete suggestions is one amazing feature to get an insight on how users of Google view a subject. The queries we see in autocomplete suggestions, are populated based on how many times users search for them. Here are Google autocomplete suggestions about Rahul Gandhi, Sonia Gandhi and their usual band members – Manmohan Singh, Kapil Sibal and Digvijay Singh. (On the same subject, i am curious why Kapil Sibal has never tried to censor this data considering his keenness in having entire internet data censored if it is found to be exposing him or congress.)
A group of stay dogs was arrested by Robert Vadra’s servents government authority in Delhi after they started barking at Robert Vadra’s car today afternoon. Delhi police mentioned that these dogs were posing serious threat to Mr Vadra’s life – the husband of Priynka Gandhi and son-in-law of Sonia Gandhi.
The details of this example of quick action by Delhi police were revealed to be as, soon after a businessman was fined for dangerously overtaking Robert Vadra’s car, few street dogs started following his car. This group of innocent looking violent dogs surrounded the car and started barking. “They even chased Mr Vadra’s car despite the fact that they noticed his VIP number. They sure had intentions of harming the honest businessman who only strives to own explore more land. Just like Christopher Columbus !” – added SHO of Lajpat Nagar police station.
Digvijay Singh has endorsed this action by Delhi police while accusing the dogs to be members of RSS. “The attack was too organized for stray dogs. Only RSS can train dogs to attack poor Vadra who was on way to sign another land deal. RSS is not man enough, now they are relying on dogs. We will execute a campaign to kick away all stray dogs from Muslim localities. Who knows, they might be working for Modi too !”
“We never had intentions of hurting Robert Vadra.” – said the leader of dogs in an exclusive interview at Amar nagar police station in Lajpat area. “We thought he is here to make land deals in Amar colony too. We were only protesting to protect our illegal colony. Even we could have escaped with escape velocity of Jupiter like dalits, but we did not.”
While replying to our question of what are their plans now, the dogs unanimously responded that once released from custody, they will straight head for Aam Aadmi Party volunteer program for general elections. “They are the only ones who treat everyone equally. Be it dogs or poors or beggers.” added little puppy, son of the gang leader who had decided to stay away from the protest considering Modi’s puppy remark.
UPA administration is all set to make another breakthrough achievement by positioning world famous robot Manmohan Singh as India’s entry to World Robot Olympiad planned at Jakarta on 15th November, 2013. Manmohan Singh’s nomination was decided by joint committee consisting of Rajnikanth – the robot, Digvijay Singh – the General Secretary of the All India Congress Committee and Rahul Gandhi – vice president of Congress. This move was long anticipated to clear Manmohan Singh’s image of being Sonia Gandhi’s pet robot.
“We want everyone to understand that MMS is not just pet robot of Gandhi family. His purpose is lot vaster than just being a toy at 10, Janpath.” – Said Digvijay Singh while informing media at a press meeting. “We even had an offer from James Cameroon who wanted to hire Manmohan Singh in next Terminator movie. But what can be a better task for Manmohan Singh than making India proud at World Robot Olympiad. This will give MMS (technical term used to refer to Manmohan Singh) a chance to showcase his capabilities.”
“We were keenly awaiting this moment.” Chinese president Xi Jinping expressed his joy. “After all, we’ve spent a lot of effort in updating his software and hardware while his visit to China. he is our best technology advancement after providing internet connection via a light bulb !”
“Yenna Rascalaa !” shouted Rajanikanth when media asked him why he himself is not participating in World Robot Olympiad. “My software runs on old CPU. MMS has version 2.0. And above all, he has training from Sonia Gandhi. World Robot Olympiad is all about finding tolerance and obedience in a robot. Which robot can perform better in this competition than MMS who can take dehaati aurat comment and compassionately say theek hai? Manmohan Singh is born to do this.”
“Theek hai. theek hai. theek hai…” That’s all media could hear from Manmohan Singh while he was plugged in for charging at 10, Janpath.
“We have our full faith on China. They will never do such a thing.” said Sonia Gandhi when asked if China has made any replica of Manmohan Singh upon his visit to their country. “Infact, while they were in Ladakh, they were only doing experiments around how to improve Manmohan Singh’s response time to various situations. They will help us build better robots.”
“I am a mother and I will not recommend Horlicks for any child.” said a frustrated Sonia Gandhi when Rahul Gandhi’s IQ showed no improvement even after having a full bottle of milk with Horlicks everyday. “I am going to demand a CBI inquiry against Horlicks for turning Rahul Gandhi in a pappu !” – Sonia Gandhi vented her anger.
“I started giving him Horlicks since he failed IQ test at doon school. I was hoping his hopeless IQ will improve but Horlicks turned him into a total pappu ! Now the entire nation is laughing at him.” said Sonia Gandhi. “Now just like a one year old child, all he speaks is Maa and Daadi and all he wants to do is watch POGO tv.”
I am always ready to work under Rahul Gandhi’s leadership doesn’t matter he has good IQ or not. And as UPA government, we will do everything necessary to prove he has a good IQ. We will begin with updating all NCERT textbooks to prove that India is bigger than USA and Europe put together.” Digvijay Singh expressed his confidence in Rahul’s IQ.
Manmohan singh said thik hai when he was asked if he is ok with working under Rahul Gandhi whose IQ is falling faster than Rakesh Roshan’s hair.
Meanwhile, Kapil Sibal has announced a definition of IQ which indicates that lower the IQ, smarter a person is. “IQ stands for nothing but Imbecility Quotient. By having Horlicks, Rahul baba’s IQ has dropped dead. Which is a good thing. Lesser IQ has, more pappu he is. Pappu with low Imbecility Quotient.” – defended Kapil Sibal.
Later the evening, Sonia has made it clear through an announcement that until CBI submits a report on damage of Horlicks on Rahul Gandhi’s IQ, he should be protected under pappu security bill. “None with IQ higher than Rahul Gandhi will be allowed within a radius of 100 meters.”